Conditional Love

By definition, love that is conditional means that the love and affection shown to your partner is contingent or reliant upon certain conditions or expectations of them being met. 

My Experience

I relate this to a relationship experience so much, as I have lived it. Everything started out as though we were meant to be. We showered each other with love and attention, we couldn’t keep our hands off one another, but then there came a time after several years where things changed. As we started growing into full blown adulthood together with children, it was as though we were growing at different paces, in different directions, and just couldn’t quite couldn’t get it right anymore. 

As we grew apart, the rhythm we once had, began to fade. The love, affection, conversation, and the general interest we had in each other became a conditional exchange. Not in a monetary form, but in the type of terms and conditions you sign when visiting a website. Over time, it began to feel as though both of us weren’t able to naturally convey the love, affection, support, and care for each other that we once could. Everything felt as though it was contingent on the other person’s behavior, actions, or of them meeting expectations we had for them in our mind. 

When you have a love that only survives by the sending and receiving of conditional love, you slowly begin to live in a world where if conditions aren’t met or if there are disagreements and conflicts, the love and affection in the relationship diminishes and begins to disappear. 

From personal experience, I can tell you that conditional love in a relationship creates barriers and walls that lead to you living in an environment where two complete strangers begin to live side by side in their daily lives. You’re living ‘together’, but not really living in harmony ‘together’. 

I have to tell you, that is a very lonely place to be. Stuck between wanting to be deeply loved by another and seeking to show love in a passionate way to another, but just not able to authentically convey it. 

Unconditional Love

Now on the contrary, unconditional love is something quite different. It’s a special, rare, and beautiful way of loving another partner. 

Unconditional love is the opposite of conditional love. It means loving your partner no matter what. It means not holding your partner to certain expectations, standards, or limitations. It’s living in a world where you accept them for who they are- flaws, annoyances, and everything in between. 

When you love your partner unconditionally you continually love and support them regardless of any challenges or differences that may arise in the relationship. It means being there for your partner through the thick and thin, showing empathy towards them, understanding them, forgiving them, and prioritizing their well-being and happiness above all else. 

Unconditional love in a relationship is being their ‘ride or die’! It’s about having such a deep emotional bond with someone that nothing else matters.